OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
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Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize