you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
