is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
