Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
