Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
