Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
