This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize