i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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