How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
