Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
