There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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