and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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