please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
