She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
