PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
one might say we're banned from that church
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize