so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
