i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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