yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
