Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
PANTIES FOUND
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