i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
