This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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