I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
