it was like his penis was on wheels.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
