FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
