Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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