I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
