please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
