I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
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He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
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Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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