how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
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i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
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I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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