On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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