At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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