I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
