she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
