im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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