So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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