I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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