You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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