Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize