I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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