Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
