physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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