people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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