masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
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You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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