yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
