Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
