i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize