What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
