belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
