i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
