You're completely useless in the revolution.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
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