bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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