ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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