I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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