I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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