$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize