any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
