Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
