After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
