I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
