He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
