I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
