why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
