Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
